Reece The Fabulous

When Reece the Fabulous first appeared he was a simple village elder of the village Mullach Mór. Originally content with his simple holdings he was enraged by the fact that he had figured out that his people had been exploited by space faring humans posing as Gods and demanding tribute of his village and others nearby. Whenever Reece the Fabulous had figured this out he went on to go on a campaign to unite his planet to fight off the invading forces, Reece the Fabulous’ power on his planet grew swiftly and he put in reforms to modernize his planet quickly ascending to a space faring people. Whenever Reece the Fabulous had first made communications with the imperium and he was taken with awe of their achievements of uniting the galaxy.

Reece the Fabulous also became great friends with the Warlord Dukey Duke; from this bonding Reece the Fabulous gained his title ‘The Fabulous’ through designing the imperium's military grade uniforms and also he was the key designer of the interior of the castles. Reece the Fabulous also became friends with John Kayce and from this he kept a great secret about the Kayce Dynasty which he passed down through his generations and to this day only a select few who are actually in the imperium know the truth and the inquisition is ready to keep it that way. In his house Granunzaigen they had figured out the people who had exploited them were the Great House of De Geek and the house Granunzaigen have a deep seeded hatred of De Geek.

Reece the Fabulous’ lived until the ripe age of 304 being buried in his native land of Mullach Mór.

Tahm Kench
Yonder year, in the pond outside of ‘Reece The Fabulous’s’ house, lived a lone tadpole, merrily swimming in the splooge filled water. One day. ‘Reece The Fabulous’ decided that today was the day to go outside for a change. He hobbled down the steps, put on his trusty Fit-Bit, and wandered outside. The frigid air hit Reece like a sack of taters; His nipples perked to no end.

Suddenly, Reece jolted forward, moving as fast as his wee little legs could carry him. For some reason, he had an uncontrollable urge to stick his now 10ft long nipples into the water. Maybe he found the water arousing? He just didn’t know. Unbenounced to Reece, His erect nipples acted as a holy divining rod, finding hope where non can be found.

Reece plunged his nipples into the icy water, and secreted a holy liquid that began to fill the pond. The tadpole looked up and saw his world being destroyed around him. A fleshy nodule pushed everything around, as a cream coloured substance blinded his vision. As if instinct told him to do so, the tadpole jolted towards the wrinkled tube, and bit onto it had hard as possible.

Reece launched back from the pain, and saw a black blob on the end of his nipple, and try as he might, he couldn’t get it off. For years, the tadpole hung onto the nipple, gorging itself on the holy milk of ‘Reece The Fabulous’. Over time, the tadpole grew into what looked like a mixture of toad, and a catfish.

Reece, the animal lover that he was, found this darling too adorable for words, and so he named it Tahm Klench, known as the cutest name in all of Zagreb.

This unlikely bond grew stronger as each day passed. ‘Reece The fabulous’ Loved his friend, and his friend loved him back. They were inseparable. Tahm Klench was the best thing Reece had ever had. So big,

This unlikely duo will forever stay together, through thick and thin, they will never leave each other's side.

Reece's Childhood
‘Reece The Fabulous’ was born into extreme poverty in Mullach Mór, and lived the majority of his childhood in an orphanage. His mother, murdered by the hands of‘jacklespankins’, the most powerful space pirate of all the seven galaxies, and his father, eaten alive by a species of mud referred to as a Splooge, which are commonly used as tater manure when killed.

The Glitter Cannon
Women and children alike spanning the entire galaxy, shudder at even the mention of the horrific

G.L.I.T.T.E.R. cannon. This ingenious invention was crafted by the hands of ‘Reece The Fabulous’, and a small group of masterful engineers, and is solely powered by taters; the oh so wonderful food found in infinite supply on Zagreb. When fired, the hand-held cannon will leave a trail of sparkly, technicoloured dust, referred to as Glitter. The man on the moon is one such phrase that every being of Zagreb knows. Many versions of this story is told in school yards and tater farms, ranging from the magical to the simply bizarre, however, very few know the true origins of the man on the moon.

On one frivolous morning, on the doorstep of one quite remarkably important man in Mullach Mór, lay a small, fat infant, wrapped in cloth. As this baby began to whine and whinge, it uninvitedly grabbed the attention of a man inside the building that the child was placed. As he reluctantly opened the door, he stared at the floor and noticed this small, fat infant wildly glaring back at him, and so he placed the baby in his fine beard, and carried him inside.

Years past and the baby grew no taller nor no thinner, the only thing that changed was his ever growing selection of grunts that he used to communicate. Unfortunately, for this now boy, grunting wasn't the common tongue for the Malachians, as English was their prefered language. The old man who took this boy in so many years ago, found this trend rather worrying, and decided that the best course of action would be to send the boy to the moon for a day, as to try and "knock the crazy out of him".

Some say that the man who sent the boy to the moon was crazy himself, unfortunately, no one could ask, as he died at the ripe age of 304, just hours after sending the child to the moon, which, unbenounced to the boy, meant that nobody knew where he was, and so he was left there on the moon to live out his days. It has been 1200 years since that day, and only now, have the explorers of Granunzaigen discovered this frail, heartless creature sitting on the moon; his beard hair making up the majority of its surface. For some reason, this once loveable boy has aged at three times the normal rate, whilst living his pointless life on the moon. However, after the discovery of this boy, he gained a purpose... To be a protector of Zagreb with his cat. Now, when adults and children alike, in school yards and tater farms look up to this small rocky mass just floating above them, they tell magical and bizarre stories, about the man on the moon.